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Q+A VAULTPERSONAL

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Have you ever thought about penning your wacky memoirs one day?

Oooh, the stories I could tell…..

Have you ever met a celebrity that left YOU rather star-struck?

I met Roy Castle once but wasn’t that enamoured with his trumpet playing.

What do you do with all the many photos and other items fans have sent you over the years? Do you have a special place where you keep these goodies?

Well, we have a strong room that is full of memorabilia to do with my career. Everything is contained in marked boxes and includes: Mint copies of DM, Recoil and previous band’s releases in all formats plus videos, test pressings / promos etc. DM tour merchandise (t-shirts etc.), programmes and itineraries, a huge trunk containing thousands of press shots and press clippings dating from 1978, fanzines, sales discs, early DM home video tapes, thousands of early DM photos, a huge case of fan goodies and of course everything to do with Recoil past and present – plus various other little gems like my stage gear over the years – always good for laugh!

Have you seen that hysterical photo of you floating around the net where you’re obviously filthy drunk while signing some autographs for a few fans and you’re so zonked you look like Prince Charles? (it’s a scream, but I feel bad for you that it’s out there for everybody to giggle at!)

Yes, I’ve seen it – thanks for bringing it up.


Do you think most Recoil fans were or are also DM fans? If they really were, would that bother you or would you think this is somehow a good way to make your work reach more people?

It seems that a lot of Recoil fans are also Mode fans – not surprising really. It doesn’t bother me who listens to my music.


When fans send you tapes of unknown bands (or of their own music), do you ever find yourself enjoying it so much that you try to get some more material?

Occasionally.


Please tell us about your weirdest encounter with a fan!

Maren Bode from Germany used to follow DM everywhere. Not so unusual you might say, except she was very strange. She didn’t say much but she could give you the most bizarre stare. She used to carry a furry animal’s tail with her. You could never get away from her once you stepped onto German soil.


Now, that you’ve gotten to know your fans via the web, what do you think of us? Are you “proud” of your fans?

You’re not a bad bunch!


What is the most extraordinary gift(s) you’ve ever got from a fan?

We got a bizarre 300 page letter rolled up like a toilet roll from a German fan once – it must have taken her weeks to write. I’ve had lots of clothing including a couple of nice shirts, all sorts of strange bits of artwork, various items of underwear from female fans and the usual things like heart-shaped cushions etc….. I don’t think I’ve been sent anything particularly weird…..yet.

My girlfriend met you backstage in Chicago on 29/11/93. Aren`t you bothered sometimes that some fans want to have a photo with you again although they already have some?

I don’t mind.


Groupies – the highest form of flattery / devotion or a nuisance?

Flattery, definitely. It does your ego a power of good to see girls waiting at airports and hotels when you arrive 😉

Look-a-likes – the highest form of flattery / devotion or a nuisance?

More worrying. Wanting to shag someone is a much more normal desire than wanting to look and dress like them.

Back to your appearance in ‘In Bed With Madonna’ – how did you end up getting into her dressing room? Are you into showbiz gatherings? And what did you think of Madonna when you saw/met her that time?

We went to see her show and got invited backstage afterwards. Actually, she pretty much ignored us – I think she was playing up to the camera more than anything. I’m not into showbiz parties just for the sake of it but a good lig on occasion, with some free alcohol, never goes amiss!


Is that you personally or your assistants, who compose the replies to the letters from your fans?

All my replies are personal ones. When I have time, I write them myself and at other times, they are dictated to and written by my wonderful assistant, Hepzibah.

Are you aware of the fact that lots of young ladies consider you to be a Ladies man? Do you think you are an extremely charming pattern of manhood?

I’ve never heard it referred to as that before….


Has your fame ever been a problem for you or your family?

Apart from the melting Germans, who stood outside my house all day on the hottest day of the year dressed top-to-toe in black leather, mad Julie from Newcastle (“Alan Wilder, I want a word with you in private…”) and strange letter writer, Merit, not really. Pothouse alert.


Why do all you rock and roll types give your children exotic names? Is it because of all that alcohol and hard living on the road?!

Us rock and roll types like to be noticed….


What do you think you would have done for a living if you had not become a musician?

Bartender, lumberjack, beekeeper.


Do you socialise with many showbiz people on a regular basis? If so who?

Yeah.. .Elton, Rod, Niomi, Claudia and Bongo – all my buddies.


Have you been or are you often recognised by the public and hence pestered and asked questions or whatever? What would be your usual reaction if a die-hard DM fan approached you in the street or in a restaurant?

I’m usually quite affable in those situations unless pushed to unreasonable levels.

Did you sometimes worry, when you where in DM and they were becoming such a big and successful band, that commitments such as touring and other pressures may prevent you from living a regular life?

No, not really. I knew all along what I was taking on although one of the reasons I eventually left was so that I’d be able to spend more time at home with my family.

What is the situation on the amount of tax that someone like you (who has been in a very big group etc.) has to pay in relation to a teacher/office worker, for example?

If you are a U.K. resident, no matter what your job description, you are subject to exactly the same tax laws as everybody else. My earnings push me into the top level tax bracket (based on my yearly income) which is currently set at 40% – meaning 40% of all my earnings go to the government. A teacher / office worker would probably fall into a lower income bracket resulting in them being subject to around 22%. Up to now, the only way around this has been to take what is known as a ‘tax-year out’ (many high earners do this) which means residing outside your own country for a minimum of 10 months out of any tax year. However, the new Labour government has now eradicated this loophole.


While with Depeche Mode, you clearly loathed any invasion of your privacy and were in fact, the most reclusive and reticent member. Now you seem willing to reveal even the most intimate aspects of your life. What can be attributed to this new found taste for public disclosure?

Well, I was never really as reclusive as you make out and even now, I don’t really reveal anything that’s particularly private. It wasn’t so much that I was reluctant to discuss my private life, it was that I was never asked, and I’m not the kind of character who forces his personality on other people. This is the first time a direct forum with fans has really been available to me. The fans themselves often ask different kinds of questions than the more limited journalist types, whose tendency is to always focus on the front man and/or songwriter. I’m prepared to answer questions in this format because I want to have a website that’s ‘special’ and this forum seems to be extremely popular.


Can you believe that Time magazine included Sinatra and Dylan but left Elvis out of their ‘Top Twenty Cultural Icons of the Twentieth Century’? Bastards. Who’d be your top twenty icons?

This isn’t as easy to answer as it sounds! These aren’t necessarily my favourite people but I think you could probably class them as iconic…Pele, Marilyn Monroe, John Lennon, Hitchcock, Stephen Hawkins, Einstein, Freud, Diana, Elvis, Hitler, Churchill…….


When you first made money, what was the most outrageous purchase you made? Did you get something nice for your folks when you hit it big? And at which point in your career did you sit back and realize that “Yes, I’ve made it”. Has it ever really hit you?

I’ve never made any really rash purchases. I’ve invested a lot back into my music via my studio and all its equipment and also into my house and estate. Most of my major purchases are as you would imagine – houses, cars, furniture, holidays and wine 😉 I also bought my parents a house. I try to keep a perspective on wealth because it all could have been so different – one should always remember how lucky one is.

Did you find a lot of your friends / family getting all hung up on the whole stardom circus? Did you ever have friends from Grammar School or Boy Scouts looking you up and trying to catch the Alan fever?

It’s usually the opposite actually. It’s a well known English trait to resent success in others and I found most of my ‘friends’ didn’t want to know when things took off for me. True friends are not like that of course. I don’t keep in touch with anyone from school.


Do you ever worry about the level of obsession that certain fans may have for you or Depeche Mode?

Not really, but I’m not an obsessive person myself so I find it all rather foreign. I think there’s a fine line between being very interested in something and being so totally absorbed in it to the point where it controls ones life – obviously this situation is far from healthy.

What’s the most frightening thing that has ever happened to you in respect to obsessive fans?

I can’t think of anything in particular although the Wherehouse incident was alarming. I remember being stuck in a car with Dave in Spain unable to move with a mob of fans rocking it so hard that it almost rolled over.


From what I’ve read in your answers, it seems that you have a few close celebrity friends but that you tend to stay away from publicity and are largely overlooked apart from Germany. Is this true? And do you like it that way?

My level of fame is probably as near perfect as it could be in that I can remain pretty anonymous and yet reap the benefits of record success around the world. I can categorically say that I wouldn’t want to be ‘famous’ to the extent where I couldn’t walk down the street and lead a normal life.


What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever been asked to autograph?

Tits and arses usually. Someone asked me to autograph their dog once.


What do you think of your french fans now and during the DM days?

Like their football team – they’re erratic but passionate.


What do you think the biggest difference is between American fans and European fans?

Well, American audiences aren’t as loud as Europeans – probably because they get to see a lot of bands, compared with some parts of Europe who see very little live music.


What was it like to be the star attraction in thousands of teenage girl’s masturbatory fantasies?

What do you mean ‘was’? 😉


Do you find it difficult to get down to a more quiet way of living after so many years in the highlights? Do you miss the high rocking arena years in DM?

No, I’m quite comfortable with my current lifestyle and, frankly, the thought of being back in a group about to go on tour makes me feel slightly ill….


Did you ever have difficulties with fans meeting you at airports or did you step directly off the plane with the band?

When travelling internally within a country, we were able quite often to use private or local airfields, enabling us to be picked up by cars directly on the tarmac. There have, over the years, been occasions when we were mobbed at International airports – I particularly remember first travelling to Japan and Hong Kong where chaos ensued when we tried to collect our baggage and leave the airport. The Germans and Italians also used to turn out in force.


What DM / Recoil fan websites do you like the most and why?

Well, I think it’s great that they all exist and I don’t really want to pick any out for special mention. The most successful ones for me, are those that are simple and easy on the eye. Some websites have far too many links on a page, often on top of complicated backgrounds and over fussy graphics. I think the crucial factors are good content, simple explanation / navigation and regular updates.


If Recoil were to break big-time, would you really want that pressure in your life?

Well I’ve never been one to allow undue pressure to take hold and since I don’t rely on Recoil record sales, I’ll hopefully always be in a position to control my level of input in my career.


How often do you get noticed in public?

Depends where I am and what I’m doing………. At a gig up in town for example, it’s quite possible. In my local supermarket, never (except by my local police chief who’s a mad Recoil / DM fan and admitted that he’s seen me at Tescos a few times but has always been too embarrassed to say “hello” ).


I had a brief encounter with you during a show in Detroit back in ’93. Downstairs at ‘The Palace’ you spoke with my friend and I, asking us what we did and when I asked you, you said you were a plumber. I was just wondering how that side business was going? 🙂

Well, sometimes I feel very disillusioned and decide that I may as well jack everything in and become a plumber – I’m pretty handy with the old D.I.Y. you know. Luckily, for my piece of mind, the feeling of achievement one gets after dealing with a blocked toilet is sufficiently rewarding to banish any blues. Actually, I was talking to another artist who you all know and he said he felt the same way and was considering giving it all up to become a builder…….

My lasting impression of you was at a bar called ‘Industry’ after the show. I was walking across the room, following my friend who squeezed my hand very hard because you were straight ahead. The next thing I know, there you are and as I passed you in the crowd, you ran your right hand slowly up my left thigh, across my stomach and lightly brazed my chest…E L E C T R I C!! ‘Til this very day I get shivers when I think about that encounter! It was the cheapest thrill I’ve ever had :- 0

Mmm, sounds like you have a bit of an over-active imagination, Brandy (not to mention a ‘culinary’ fetish – ‘braised’?). Let’s look at the evidence:

Firstly, even fuelled on 15 tequilas, I’m not a groper, so I find it hard to believe that I’d actually ‘cop a feel’ without talking to you first. However, as Hep so rightly points out, if you in fact encountered Ron or Stan Fellini, then it’s quite possible it happened just as you remember (check the Personal / Alanarchives if you’re confused) 😉

Send me a photo. to jog my memory……


My so called girlie friend thinks that fans/ followers etc. of Recoil/Alan Wilder are sad for sending e-mails to you to get some form of response. Could you send her a little message telling her to get off her fat arse and stop acting like a sad mother on the school run. Since we became parents, she has started to become a complete fish wife.

Hello Steve’s girlfriend. Yes, you’re absolutely right. I think he’s really sad too.


I have a naughty schoolgirl crush on you!! You are so sexy and charming that I just can’t seem to sleep without dreaming of your beautiful face. Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t mean to frighten you but I feel so drawn to you. I know that we could be so passionate together. What are your thoughts on this matter, Alan?

Er…. have you got a schoolgirl outfit?


Would you consider playing at our wedding? Come on, be a chap! All the greyhounds you want!!! What ya think?

What is it you’re after, some kind of cabaret act? I’m sure it could be arranged but I would need a guarantee from you that it will conform to proper wedding standards if I’m going to make the effort. My terms for booking are as follows:

I get to shag at least 2 of the bridesmaids.

I expect to be propositioned by an extremely drunk and sexually-frustrated older woman in the toilets (mother-in-law?).

There should be a good fight (got any Irish relatives?).

Somebody must be present with a video camera to catch the bride falling over during the first dance (should include knicker action if possible) and the bridegroom sneaking out of the men’s toilets adjusting his flies, followed by her sister.

I’m not coming if you insist on playing ‘Somebody’ at any point in the proceedings.


I have been on the DM list for a while and I was wondering about the DM Bible. What exactly did you think when you first got the book in your hands? Is it impressive looking? Have you had the time to read all of it by now, and what did you and Hep think of it?

It arrived wrapped in a very smart black and red velvet ‘wallet’ and is bound in a metal ring binder. It’s full of very complimentary stories, poems and artwork. I was very flattered to receive it and have added it to my collection of fan memorabilia.


Do you ever miss the adulation that you were used to during your time in Depeche Mode? Are you frightened of your Fan(atic)s?

Not really, I still get plenty of ego-massaging from fans via the internet and post without having to put myself on the front line. Although it sounds glamorous being pursued by people, the crowd mentality can be quite frightening sometimes. I remember in particular being chased through the streets of Budapest with Hep once during the ‘Devotional’ tour; It started out as a few fans seeing us eating outside a restaurant and following us back to the hotel asking for autographs. Then, as on-lookers became more inquisitive, the crowd began to grow. My security man Joel started getting nervous and said “One, two, three, RUN!!!” and we had to leg it back to the hotel with a crowd of excited Hungarian’s hot on our trail. When we eventually made it inside, they were all banging on the windows of the bar so I went out to have a word. I explained that we weren’t the only guests in the hotel and it may be slightly unsettling for other people in the bar to feel like they were in ‘Night Of The Living Dead’ but that I’d sign a few autographs if they promised to leave us in peace. This was subsequently translated (and I’ve seen it mentioned on various mailing lists) as “Alan Wilder told us all to fuck off…” ……Nice eh?


Referring to your answer to Liz Tena in the latest Q + A session, I’d like to apologise. I’m from Hungary and I felt shocked and ashamed when I read your story of Budapest in ’93. My apologies go to Hep, too. I must admit I’ve heard stories from different sources which claimed meeting you in different places but I never thought they were actually that horrible. I cannot tolerate any behaviour like that. You are just as individual as anyone else. I really am sorry again for the inconvenience. I’m trying to talk on behalf of other Hungarian fans who would think the same.

Thank you very much for your concern Norbert but you really don’t have to apologise either as a fan or a Hungarian! I wasn’t suggesting in my answer that the whole experience was horrific and I’ve been scarred for life, I was just using it as an example of how people can react in ‘crowd’ situations, and how sometimes the mentality that’s exhibited can be quite frightening to confront. In the kind of situation I described, the whole thing becomes a bit like a hunt, where the chase is actually more of a thrill than the original point of getting an autograph out of someone. Hep and I laugh about it now and at the time we never felt physically threatened, it was just alarming to witness the power and speed with which the event turned from a simple lunch to loads of people baying for blood, if you will. That said, the aspect that I did find rather hurtful, was the fact that people reported that I’d told them to ‘Fuck off’ when I was only attempting to ease the situation for the comfort of other guests in the hotel.


I notice the majority of your fans seem to be 20 to 30 years of age. Does it bother you that your audience is of such a narrow age bracket? What would you do to expand your audience, to target a larger age group?

I think it’s a pretty cool age range actually. You don’t want your mother to like it do you.


By the way, have you ever met a Recoil fan somewhere and if you did, would you take the time for a little conversation?

Of course, if it was convenient. I’ve met fans in many situations – if we’re at a party or in a drinking establishment, I’ll usually buy them a drink.


Do you remember that special friend who gave you the Mapplethorpe book – she has a tattoo of ‘Alan’ on her chest. What do you think of fans who get tattoos of DM band members?

How could I forget? I love that book. Personal body art? – each to his own I say. It’s a good job I’ve only got a relatively short name and she able to fit it in neatly 😉


I’ll soon be embarking on my DM US tour (Los Angeles). How come DM concerts always get sold out there? In your opinion, is LA really the centre of the fan base in the US, and how come?

DM has a massive following in the LA area which (more than anything else) is probably down to one radio station – KROQ. Of course, since 1986 or so, the band have worked that area very hard to capitalise on that success but Richard Blade and co. have been staunch supporters of the band for many years. Whatever I might have said about radio and the attitude of small minded producers, I have to take my hat off to this lot…..


I read somewhere that, in your opinion, a REAL DM fan is one who still remains devoted to DM after listening to ‘It’s Called A Heart’ (Slow Mix). Any comments?

Well, you do need to be particularly devout to endure it – slowing it down to half speed made it twice as long – probably not a very good idea – twice the agony.


Have you ever considered having a social occasion with fans? I don’t mean as in little teenies but the more grown up end!

Depends on what kind of occasion you’re talking about. I have had one or two ‘social occasions’ with fans in the past but at the moment I am strictly at internet’s length.


I have found by studying my favourite entertainment artists that many of them seem to ‘hang’ together. Are there any relatively well-known artists that you relate to on a personal or recreational level that might surprise us and if so, is it an appreciation of an artistic or personal nature that has inspired you to become friends?

Most of my close friends are vaguely connected to the media world but are not directly artists or musicians. When I’m relaxing, I like to talk about other things besides my work. Obviously, I cannot help but know quite a few musicians but I don’t ‘hang’ with them all the time.


Sorry for misusing you as a dictionary again but I still haven’t found out what you mean by ‘pothouse’ when talking about certain fans. Could you please enlighten me ?

‘Pothouse’ was a word coined, I think, by Ginger Barwick – Bravado merchandiser and wide-boy to the stars. I can only assume it comes from a mixture of ‘crackpot’ and ‘madhouse’ and is used to describe those of a slightly unstable nature.


Who would you think is a bigger Recoil fan, God or the Devil?

Must be the Devil – I’m doing some good work for him and his music.

Are you as fanatical about another artist as your fans are about you? Are you on any Shunt-like mailing lists?

Not really – I’ve never had much desire (or the guts) to go up to another artist or a celeb and just chat to them. I always think that they would want to be left alone.


Does it occur to you that fans want to appear at your house to see how close they can get ? Do you find this very disturbing?

I haven’t seen any fans around here for years.


Can you name some of your rarest and most prized Mode possessions?

Various box sets, DM home video footage from ’83-’87, stage clothes, personal photos, test pressings etc..


Do the people in Horsham know that you’re a ‘pop star’? Do you like this term?

Well nobody’s ever said anything (apart from my bank manager), so I presume not. I hate the tag ‘popstar’. It sounds so ridiculous.


Having had a look at all the photos of the Recoil fans, are you sometimes surprised when you receive the pictures and details or do most of the questioners remain more or less anonymous (like me ;-)?

The voyeur in me looks forward to receiving pictures – there’s such a variety of photos and it’s nice to have the opportunity to put a human face to all the e-mails we receive. The October ’99 winner of ‘Fan Of The Month’ is a particularly good example of this. It makes a happy man feel very old …… 😉


At what point does a persons interest in something cross the line from curiosity to fanaticism? I know there is no way to accurately measure ones level of interest in something, however do you find it strange that someone would sit and listen to one of your records backwards or buy every import disc to every recording you have ever made?

Well, I can understand the desire to have a complete collection of something (I’ve got boxes of QPR match day programmes collected since the early 70’s – yes sad, I know) although I agree that some fans’ obsessive behaviour is slightly bewildering…..especially when you find that the biggest pothouses are quite often in their 30’s and married with children.


When you were on tour I suppose there were a bunch of girls at each concert screaming for you, trying to get in touch with you or just simply adoring you. What did you think about them?

It’s flattering and embarrassing both at the same time. Mustn’t complain though, eh?


Can you walk through London with relative anonymity or do fans often stop you to say hello / ask for your autograph?

Yes, I rarely get recognised. When I do, it’s usually foreign fans visiting the capital.


I started sifting through your Q+A section and I simply cannot believe that after being with Depeche Mode for 14 years you still have the patience and will to communicate with your fans as much as you do. Do you enjoy this? What are your impressions about the sort of people who are attracted to Recoil?

I like to return the support that fans give me by offering them the opportunity to express themselves directly – and I have to say that the vast majority are very courteous and constructive. Also, since Recoil doesn’t tour, this is the only way to create some communication between musician and audience. However, e-mail conversations can be misleading and I take all correspondence in this form with a large pinch of salt. A few misjudge the boundaries of this contact and overstep the mark, mistaking insult as honesty. (I wouldn’t, for example, dream of writing to a fan and telling them that the demo they’d spent ages working on was actually a pile of shite – if I acted in such an ‘honest’ way, you would all think I was an ogre.) The point is, there is a big difference between constructive criticism and plain abuse. Having said all that, I know that Recoil’s not for everybody and commands strong opinions – this is fine and I don’t take any of it too seriously, or more importantly, I wouldn’t adjust my music to cater for them.


Would you think of me as a crazy and hopeless girl, if I were to tell you that I am in love with you and everything about you?

You’re obviously not ‘crazy and hopeless’, just clearly in possession of excellent taste……….;-)


I often wonder what a person with ‘celebrity’ status really thinks when someone thanks them for their work. Is it really accepted as a compliment and responded to with sincerity or is it that as soon as the fan is out of earshot, they’re made fun of and treated like a brown nosing jerkoff?

Why wait ’till they’re out of earshot? 😉

The reason I am asking you, is that you are the only ‘celebrity’ I know of that I can contact directly and receive a response from. By the way thanks for everything! 🙂

Creep.

I recently stumbled across Grey Goose Vodka. Have you tried it? Nice and smooth probably the only vodka I can drink by itself. Next time you are in Atlanta, Georgia allow me to buy a few rounds for you.

Huh, you’ll be lucky. I was thinking of visiting Atlanta but now I know that such a ‘brown nosing jerkoff’ lives there, I think I’ll reconsider.

Grey Goose Vodka? Never heard of it but you can send me bottle to make up for being such a crawler 😉


What’s the strangest thing a fan has ever asked you to do that you’ve done?

Autograph their dog.

What’s the strangest thing a fan has ever asked you to do that you didn’t do?

Autograph a can of spam – see below.

What would it take to get you to come to one of those bizarre Shunt conventions everyone seems to be planning?

At least 10 bottles of vodka – I don’t mean when I get there, I mean beforehand.


I sent you a question about 2 months ago, but you never answered. Well poo
to you Alan Wilder!! Do you like Spam? Or Monty Python? The show or the
movies? They always talk about Spam! Spam this, Spam that.

Oh dear. Hey Emily and Natalie……got room for one more on your planet?

Finally, if I send you a can of Spam could you sign it for me?

Security!


ALAN, YOU ARE SOOO GOOD LOOKING!!! I just wanted to know your thoughts on English actress Elizabeth Hurley – her physical attributes of course. I’ve been told that I look a lot like her with the big boobies an’ all. I’m currently a student, so can I put on my TINY schoolgirl outfit and sit on your lap?

Now there’s an offer I couldn’t possibly refuse 🙂 Elizabeth Hurley – well tasty. Slightly too thin of late but I can forgive her that.


Back in 1994, after a show in San Francisco, you and Martin were at some night club having a great old time. (ha) In any event, you seemed bored beyond belief when I approached you for an autograph. Was this a common thing? I mean, I understand being surrounded by ‘adoring fans’ gets tiresome but did you generally not enjoy being approached during your downtime? We had worked really hard to get your attention, even manufacturing a “We Love Alan” sign in a drunken frenzy to hold up during the show. I was crushed. All my girlish fantasies about you were almost in ruins! If people send pictures to the address below, do you personalize them at all?

Sorry Nycole. You must have caught me at a bad moment. Send the pic. to the address at the bottom of this page and I’ll sign it lovingly for you.


Me and 30 friends have rented a room and a professional HIFI stereo and are having a DM-bash this weekend. Heavy drinking and DM blasting from the speakers all night! Could a man ask for more (except for maybe one ‘thing’)? Anyway, how do you feel about people getting together like this to celebrate DM?

Er, whatever turns you on Niels but I think I’d still rather be doing the ‘thing’.


As you know, I live and work in Horsham and I can’t believe that I haven’t bumped into you. I had even taken to using Tescos a bit more rather than Sainsburys, knowing that you shop there but now you don’t even use that anymore! I’m sure we’ll meet at some point. The offer of a pint in the ‘Black Jug’ is still on….

The Black Jug? No idea where it is and I’m sorry but I hate pubs. What about Bar Vin? I’m jesting of course. Hep and I looked in there the other day when we were desperate for a cup of coffee and it was so horrible we walked straight out. If you see two people skulking around Nat West bank, trying to fit in with the local zombies, that’ll be us. Be quick though – we spend as little time in Horsham as humanly possible.

I’d like to ask whether you’ve ever used that classic phrase, “Do you know who I am?” to someone who perhaps refused you a table at a restaurant or who was disinclined to let you into a club. I can’t imagine that you would but I’d be interested to know.

Absolutely not. It’s a horribly arrogant and offensive thing to do, and anyway, I’d be more likely to be embarrassed further because the bouncer wouldn’t have a clue who I was. Then again it depends on the country. In some places where DM are particularly popular, if you get someone to prep the establishment beforehand it can be pretty useful. But I’d never do it on the spot or even attempt such a suicidal move in England.


Here in Germany there are Depeche Mode parties every weekend where sometimes over 2000 people, from everywhere in the country, come together to celebrate a Black Celebration. We want to know, if you were interested in watching them from a distance, just to feel the atmosphere and see how some of them going mad?

I’ve already seen some of them on video – you strange people 😉


We (two fans from Chemnitz Germany) hope, you hattes unite good day and have enjoyed the quiet in your area and with the preparations don’t have so much stress to your new CD.

As you know maybe the largest Depeche mode finds in Hamburg, regular party of Germany. One makes fun when imitating Dave dance stick in form of a competition there. However, at this more damage is caused for this for and the band more is pulled into the dirt at this, however want none or only some, admit. Always multiply dilapidates this event to the milk-machine(money). Gives mainly Bottlegs and other false originals at the sales stands and “fan stands”. This to the Germany “largest” D.M. party.

Germany demanding party takes place in Chemnitz, though.
There is not any childish Dave-Dancing there. Instead of this one gets the fans a comfortable club-atmosphere demanded. Begun characteristic of an unusual decoration, good sales stands, draws, a good band, own video animations and…

…and with us still there is a >Alan Wilder<!!! We play a choice from all 4 LP the Sound of RECOIL !!! Unfortunately, we don’t have any video clips of the Singels Faith Healer, Drifting and Stalker. There it doesn’t admit ask you we whether it is possible to acquire the videos with you to buy these either. We then can also visually 100 per cent offers the fans of RECOIL and of course also of Depeche mode. Party takes place by the way the next on 10-8-1999! (and of course you are invited)

Bye, Sven and Olli

Er, I’ll back to get you that one privately on , Sven 😉


I am a perfectly nice American girl in London and some person called me a “trainspotting nutter.” Should I be offended? What is that anyway? And what is a “boffin?” You were called this several times in the new DM Biog.

The term ‘trainspotter’ stems from exactly that……he who spots trains. A strange affliction. These are characteristically 30 – 40 year old men who still live with their mothers and quite possibly indulge in dubious sexual practices involving them. Gathering on station platforms in all weathers and wearing old anoraks and bobbly hats, they note the make, model and characteristics of each train that passes. Thus ‘trainspotter’ has come to mean any obsessed character who insists on talking about nothing but their chosen specialist subject. In my experience, the ‘trainspotter’ or ‘pothouse’ almost always manifests itself at the aftershow hospitality, just after I’ve come off stage and when I really don’t feel in the mood to ‘talk shop’. While pouring myself a stiff Greyhound, I am unaware that he has crept up behind me, intent on droning on and on and on about the new Roland blah, blah, blah and how they discovered this great wibbly, wobbly noise using their blah, blah, blah synth and “is that the same sound you used on ‘Enjoy The Silence’ because it sounds like the same noise they discovered using their blah, blah, blah synth?” Etc. The name ‘anorak’ as in “You’re a sad anorak” means the same thing. ‘Boffin’ isn’t as bad but still quite sad – more akin to mad scientist and far from the truth in my case. The Boffinry tag is usually conveniently applied by those non-technicals (journalists) to anyone who has some technical ability. Nutter means ‘nutcase’ – as in ‘fruit and nutcase’ or ‘fruitcake’. In other words, someone who is psychological unstable.


YOU WANT A PICTURE ALREADY!!??! Maybe I’m cute or maybe I’m plain. Maybe I’m just not your type at all. Are looks everything? Sometimes they are, huh? I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. Not to boast but it’s true. Why don’t you just get your “arse” over here. In the meantime, how about a short description?

Long dark brown hair and light brown eyes, 5’7126lbs (sic), Italian, 23, drinks often (favourite drink: BLOODY MARY) Percentage of time I get what I want: 92% Scale of 1-10: 8 1/2

Sorry, you’re a little TOO heavy for me…….at 57126 lbs, I don’t think I’d live to tell the tale…..


Hey, why are you being such a wanker?

Excuse me?

We could be having so much fun. Unless of course you are freaked out. Maybe I should apologise, but I won’t.

Ok then.

All you need to know is that there is an intelligent woman out there somewhere who is quite taken by you, your charm and your mug.

Really? Have you got her address?

So what if you are an old fart!!

Thanks.

I don’t know what else to say. I am yours if you want me!!!! Do you still want a picture or what??

Yes , send a picture. My attitude towards you will be directly proportionate to how tasty you turn out to be.

By the way, what the fuck does ‘hatstand’ mean? Please enlighten me, (among other things)

Er…..it means “intelligent, articulate and in full possession of one’s marbles”.


Why don’t you just give in to me? Crazy or not, aren’t you the least bit curious as to who wants you SO FUCKING bad??!!?

I’m still waiting for a photo. – no show, no go. You seem reluctant to reveal yourself Miss Kaeser……mmm, suspicious.

I am not that keen on bedding someone that’ll be in need of Viagra in a few years, so you’d better hurry up and find me soon while you’ve still got it, SLIK!!!

You young whippersnapper….. where’s me stick?

Could you please, please send me an e-mail and may I also ask that it be you, ALAN, who sends it.

Eh?

I’m on to you Shunt people. I don’t believe for a second that you have ever even seen these pleas for free love.

I don’t send out personal e-mail’s to strangers – you can write to me at the address below like everyone else and I might reply.


You have real pretty eyes; they are like big blue beach-balls. You also look so cute when you smile with those white buck teef.

Er, what’s up doc…

What’s your favourite colour? Naw…What’s your FAVORITE COLOR?

Bloo.

If you were an animal, what would you be? AMINALS!

Try me on sport.

Do you find it inconsiderate for the guy to blow his load in the chick’s mouth?

Go away.

I just read some Q and A’s concerning the “growling” sound-effect used in the beginning of ‘Something To Do’ and in the middle of ‘Blasphemous Rumours’. You couldn’t remember what it was or what it was supposed to be but I think I know! You know the lyrics for ‘BR’ include the girl who got “hit by a car and ended up on a life-support machine”, the growling or vacuuming, rattling sound is or sounds to me like an endo-tracheal tube. You know, that ribbed, long tube they stick down your throat when you are real fucked in the hospital and need some breathing assistance. The first time I heard ‘Blasphemous Rumours’, that is exactly what came to mind and it totally creeped me out. When the tube is removed from one’s throat, it makes that horrible, rattling and sucking noise.

Thank you for that Emily. Why don’t you get together with Natalie – you’d suit each other. She’s a hatstand, you’re a pothouse – just think what fun you could have.
capital.


Am I the only one who thinks that Natalie chick is completely hatstand?

No, I’m with you Sunil.


How do you live with your “star” status. I mean, some people don’t understand that stars also go to the toilet to shit, eat their breakfast and have their emotions and so on. How do you live with that?

Ahh, how naive you are…….surely you know that us stars are ‘colonically irrigated’ twice a week.


You’re in a public place (eating dinner?) and I walk up to you. What do you do?

Spread you on my bread and eat you.

I find your house and sleep outside. What do you do?

Call my groundsman and tell him to bring his shotgun for some sport.

Do you have Dave’s old L.A. address? CAN I HAVE IT!!!!!!!!

Why? He doesn’t live there anymore.

“The forthcoming Recoil album features two collaborators with the initials D.G.” TWO different people with the same initials as DAVE! UGHHHH!!! Why you trying to trick use into thinking is Mr. Gahan himself. God that would be a dream! And when you come to promote the NEW album here in L.A., I’m going to find you! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. See You int he FALL!!!!! =) Cant you feel the LOVE?!?!?!?!?!

There you go folks. First-class, grade A example of a pothouse. Bad spelling and all………;-)

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Q+A VAULT / PERSONAL